Sometimes, young adults between the ages of 15 to 25 will make appointments for therapy. Topping their list of agenda items is this question: “What do I want to do for the rest of my life?” Often, it starts with the high school or college student asking, “How can I possibly pick a career I will enjoy every day for the next 30 years?” The expressions on their faces, the pressure in their voices seem to be saying, “Oh God! I can’t mess this one up. I have to live with the consequences of this decision for the rest of my life.”
Many of these clients have thought and over-thought the question. Part of their dilemma is that there is no clear or best answer. Realistically, I can’t think of many professions where there aren’t some days a person wishes they chose something different. Even those who say, “I’m the luckiest person in the world to be able to do what I love every day,” is probably in a bit of denial.
Faced with the task of picking a career that speaks to them, is them, will define them and be endlessly fulfilling is a pipe dream. I have no idea where the expression “pipe dream” comes from; I looked it up and found it references the dreams people have when smoking an opium pipe. So, for this particular conundrum, the expression fits.
The good news is few of us has to pick a single job and be stuck doing the same job over and over again. I have friends who thought they wanted to lawyers. They went to law school, hated being a lawyer but used their acquired analytical skills to go into business or run a guitar store. I’ve met men and women who wanted to be doctors or nurses only to find they really hated being around blood and disease. They pivoted and used their knowledge of medicine to become teachers, administrators and researchers. Some went into psychiatric services since there is little blood or suturing involved.
Psychotherapists who discover they don’t really have the skill or patience to effectively deal with the emotional problems of people may find they are happier in other venues. The woman who taught my daughter to ride horses has a degree in psychology. She used her knowledge every day with both the horses and her students, but she never hung up a shingle or asked, “So how do you feel about that?”
I understand some individuals do not have the luxury to go to college or even finish high school. Their ability to pivot is limited.
For those who have some education, however, their degrees or licenses do not have to be used in traditional ways. What I have learned from talking with people about their jobs is often what they thought they would be doing is quite different from where they are now.
It’s another way to say, go ahead and choose a field you enjoy and have some aptitude in. That’s a more realistic choice than finding the “perfect” job at age 18 that you still will be thrilled to be doing at age 50.
Mitchell Rosen is a licensed therapist with practices in Corona and Temecula. Catch up with previous columns at www.pe.com/author/mitchell-rosen. Email rosen@mrosenmft.com.
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